#non-winning

Oh, yeah, remember that inside joke? I do.

Anyway.

This is going to be a very emotional, angry, frustrated, discouraged, sarcastic post and I am probably just going to have to regret it and delete it later.  But right now I don't care.

Sometimes I feel like I just can't win.  Today is one of those days.
1) Not a whole lot of sleep
2) Dreams that I would rather not have right now
3) ';[ppppZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (sorry, that's what my cat wrote.  She must be having a bad day too.)
4) Woke up with a migraine.
5) Clinic this morning wore me out.
6) Big presentation at midday.
7) Clinic this afternoon wore me out.
8) Got home, and my air conditioner was not working.  Still isn't working.  The repair people came today to fix it.  Obviously didn't work.  It's been weeks.  Months, even, since it worked correctly.  I'm not sure it's ever worked correctly.  Which is why my electricity bill was so ridiculous this month and last!  My rent is too high (oh look, another inside joke just whizzing by without mutual laughter.  How nice.) to endure this ridiculousness.
9) Still have a lot to do. But it's too hot.  Couldn't even work out (on my flaky treadmill).
10) Not getting enough clinic hours.  Wasted time.
11) Shin splints. IT band syndrome. No fun.
12) Didn't get to get any half price cheesecake :(
13) I want to know where I'm going for my externship.  Or at least hear something.
14) Gravity was kicking my butt today.  I dropped everything.  It's like I have my own personal black hole riding around below my feet.
15) Oh.  And now, the best outlet I have for these frustrations is either my keyboard or my cat.  How fun.  Not good enough.

I know I have people who say "you have so much going for you," and the rational part of my brain knows that and knows that I should appreciate my blessings and there is a bright future and all that jazz.  But the other, vulnerable, angry, upset, whatever side of me knows that I can have everything going for me but all I want is one thing.  I hate that side.

IT IS SO HOT IN MY APARTMENT.  I HATE IT!!!!!!!

Wow.  Sorry.  I am really in a bad mood.  I need some freaking cheesecake.


On an unrelated note, I think the female gymnasts look weird.  It's the big, muscular neck + the super slicked back hair + the excessively-plucked eyebrows + the bad/overdone eye makeup + the occasional hair glitter and/or scrunchie.  Also the way they bend in half backwards when posing.  Weird.

I also love how the female swimmers compete with nails painted and wearing earrings.
Yay Olympics.








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