Mummer's the word

This is how Philadelphia does New Years.

Step 1. Set up bleachers days in advance.

You can never be too prepared.

Step 2: Dress warmly, because it's cold.

Duh.

Step 3: Gather all of your friends who happen to know how to blow into an instrument/have access to an instrument they can blow into

doot doot

Step 4: Play as loudly and with as little attention to tone as possible.

Hey! Baby! and Saints are the main jams. Could've been in BUGWB!

Step 5: Find a group of 800 drunk men, ages 18-81, dress them up in skirts and give them manly umbrellas.

And hats. Never forget to wear a funny hat.

Step 6: Don't forget your satin satchel and your surprisingly impressive face paint.

Step 7: Everyone get in a group to spray paint your shoes gold, somewhere on a sidewalk in Philly so you can leave cool marks on the street.

I mean, do you know how cool you look? (7:27)

Step 8: Throw beads at people. Make sure to aim them so you hit them directly in the eyeballs, that's where they look the best.

Step 9: Walk down the street attempting to dance along the music, occasionally getting tired and feeling the effects of not having been sober since 8 pm the previous day, then remember that you should be dancing around and begin yelling to make yourself seem more exciting.

Step 10: Repeat for 12 hours.

But seriously, the Mummers Parade is a really old tradition in Philadelphia with a lot of neat history and unique things that are fun and entertaining all day long. Everyone in the city turns out to watch, yell "E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!" (proof they can spell) and shout "Happy New Year!" to anyone and everyone in a sense of festive camaraderie and Philadelphia pride. It's a fun day, and although I walked through wayyyyyyy over my limit of urine, beer, and other unspeakable items, and it was really cold, it was a fun inauguration to the Philly spirit.

I also know that I can sleep in as late as I want on New Years Day since it lasts all.day.long.