How to do NYC in 6 Hours (with someone who's never been there before)

I went to New York for the day this past weekend. It was a much different situation than the last time I went. 

Step 1: Buy tickets for your second-favorite Broadway show. Yay!

Step 2: Oh, realize that you have to get there somehow. Cool. But it should be nbd because you're like 2 hours from NYC and the train is fast and cheap, right?

Step 3: WRONG. The train is fast(er), yes. The train is also $50-106 per person ONE WAY. I dunno, maybe I'm just used to flying Southwest across like 6 states for $69, but that just seems like too damn high. 

Step 4: Debate taking the bus. Read multiple reviews of taking the bus. Book tickets for the bus and pray to God that the "terrible" reviews of the bus were just karma acting on horrible people rather than being frequent actualities. 

Step 5: Get on the bus. Snag the last two seats together, score! Try not to nap on the way because you haven't really been seeing the guy you're going with for very long and making half-asleep-snorting sounds would not be so cute. They happen, you guys know it's true. 

Step 6: Enjoy the scenery, except wait, New Jersey just kinda looks like every other state ever from the highway. 

Step 7: See the skyline from 30 miles away. New York!!!

Step 8: Get off the bus, book it 3 blocks over and 11 blocks up in 25 minutes, eating peanut butter and banana and granola sandwiches you packed along the way, because you're prepared like that. 

Step 9: Get to the show, allow the guy you're with who happens to be a firefighter determine that if there's a fire in here we're all gonnn die, say your final prayers, and watch enthralled as the musical is done juuuuust right. 

Step 10: Rejoice that we didn't die a fiery death, and rejoice that the guy enjoyed the show and seemed to have a good time. Score!

Step 11: Walk through Times Square and take an official Times Square selfie, like you do. Then get the heck out of there bc people, ew. 

Step 12: Breeze by Rockefeller Plaza and say "Hey, there it is over there. Okay cool."

Step 13: Refer to your list of Yelp searches for Italian food in New York that was surprisingly difficulty and hope that you can find a hole in the wall restaurant instead. Find a hole in the wall restaurant instead and eat the second-best calamari of your life. 

Step 14: Head to Zaro's Bakery in Grand Central Terminal to get the most delicious black and white cookies ever. Try to leave the terminal but realize you've gotten incredibly turned around. End up exiting on a street with no name listed. Thanks. 

Step 15: Try to hold in your giggles as the person you're with looks up to the Chrysler Building and says "oh that's that first time I've seen the Empire State Building" and instead revel in the buulding's gorgeous Art Deco-ness and imagine that you can live right at the top. 

Step 16: Walk past the actual Empire State Building. Take the required picture of the Empire State Building. Try to take an artsy picture through some tree branches and realize that you got a piece of trash that was stuck in the tree branches in your pic. Thanks, New York. 

Step 17: Realize you have approximately 11 minutes to make it back to the bus. Book it to the bus. As it start to rain. Breeze past Madison Square Garden faster than the Knicks' fastest player. 

Step 18: Make it on the bus, find the last two seats together again, try not to nap again, and say goodbye to the city as you watch the sunset reflect back on the shiny sides of the skyscrapers. Until next time, New York. 

It's best if your last picture is really crooked and blurry because you're rushing to take it as the bus is heading into a tunnel.