Hot Stuff

Dear Tennessee,

I was just starting to like you. We were becoming friends, and now you want to throw that budding relationship away. I loved you in the fall, when all your trees turned colors that are not in the palette in the good ol' Lone Star State. I liked you in the winter, when you let it snow a teensy bit. I enjoyed your lovely blooming trees (cherry blossoms! dogwood! I never knew trees could be so nice) and your soft spring breezes. We were happy together and had a bright future.

But then... you got hot. Now, thanks to a combination of your latitude, the fiery sun, and my apartment's 45-year-old air conditioner, we are NO LONGER FRIENDS. Now, I have to sleep sprawled out on my bed like a starfish, with no limb touching another for fear they will become stuck together until November and cooler temperatures appear. Now, I have to run three fans, one in each room, to keep my furniture from melting down. Now, I take a shower just to feel like I should take another when I'm done.

You see, Tennessee, I grew up in Texas, and it was 113 degrees there this summer. I've done my share of time out in the sun (hellooooo, summer band camp! or October football games, for that matter), and in the grand scheme of things, this 87 degree business is not that bad. I know it's going to get much hotter and much more humid as summer approaches its zenith, and I'm ready for that, since it's inevitable and normal. But Tennessee, I just feel betrayed! I thought moving up here would delay the onset of the heat a little bit - maybe even by a couple of weeks. But no, it was hot in the beginning of March. In my opinion, that is just too early to start sweltering. Tennessee, you're letting me down as you're heating up.

Oh. It's not your fault, you claim? It's hot everywhere? Be thankful that you have fans? At least fall was beautiful? You promise not to get above 110 degrees? lWell... upon reconsideration, maybe it's not you. Maybe it's me. Or maybe all of this would be no big deal if my air conditioner actually worked.

Yeah, I think that's it. Tennessee, I apologize. Can we be friends again?

(Okay, so this may not make sense today/this week since it's supposed to be quite nice out, but that's not the point. The point is that I just wanted to complain about the weather.)